Dr. Robert Glover defines a “Nice Guy” not as a genuinely warm person, but as a man who:
In the context of this book, a Nice Guy is not simply a kind man. A Nice Guy is a man who believes he is a good person, but his "goodness" is a transaction. He acts nice to get approval, avoid conflict, and ensure people like him.
While Dr. Glover's book is the most famous written work with this title, the phrase appears in other contexts: No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Life of Hardball - Amazon.com No More Mr. Nice Guy
You must detach your giving from your getting. Give because you have chosen to give, not because you are trying to buy love.
There is a massive difference between being kind and being nice . He acts nice to get approval, avoid conflict,
Nice Guy Syndrome is a belief system, often rooted in childhood abandonment or toxic shame, that leads men to believe they are not inherently "okay" as they are. To cope, they adopt a "chameleon-like" approach to life, seeking approval and avoiding conflict at all costs.
Nice Guys believe that if they can just fix every problem, everyone will be happy, and they will be loved. They try to fix their partners, their children, and their coworkers. This leads to exhaustion and prevents others from taking responsibility for their own lives. Nice Guy: A Life of Hardball - Amazon
: A core trait is avoiding conflict at all costs, which often leads to passive-aggressive behavior when their needs inevitably go unmet.